Ashes and Arsenic by S.M. Reine

Author:S.M. Reine
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Red Iris Books
Published: 2015-01-30T05:00:00+00:00

The Office of Preternatural Affairs is a great place to work. Since it’s a government job, my benefits are good. Retirement is included in the contract. I’ve even got a whole month of vacation days each year, which is great to think about while I’m working long hours at my desk and not going anywhere fun.

All that said, the OPA is a fucking terrible place to work.

Our contracts are evil. I mean, literally evil. The magic that they used to wipe our memories if we got fired had been taken from a demon crime lord.

I’d also been threatened with death by the vice president just because I’d accessed information that was beyond my clearance level.

And the OPA also keeps all of its employees under surveillance.

So the first thing I did when I realized Aisha wasn’t trying to kill me was perform a sweep for bugs.

She watched in bemusement as I grabbed all the usual devices. There was always one stuck under the kitchen counter, a couple in the light fixtures, a camera stuffed behind the books on my shelf.

I checked everywhere else by habit, too. Sometimes the agent assigned to replace the bugs got creative.

Good thing I looked, because there was one on my goddamn TV this time.

“Don’t you know that the magnets can fuck with my screen? If it’s broken, I hope you’re going to pay to replace that!” I yelled directly at the bug before crushing it between my forefinger and thumb.

“Who are you talking to?” Aisha asked.

I tossed the broken remnants of the bug into the box with all the others. I’d been doing routine searches of my apartment since moving in the year before and I’d filled a Banker’s Box with the corpses of OPA surveillance devices. I was trying to think of something funny to do with them. Maybe some kind of April Fool’s prank on the security department. I’d come up with something.

“I’m talking to my employers,” I said, running my hands underneath the couch one more time, just to be sure.

Aisha had been pacing by the kitchen, but she stopped to stare at me. “They’re monitoring your apartment?”

“Everyone needs a hobby.” There wasn’t anything under the couch. I was reasonably confident I’d gotten all of the bugs out of the living room.

Aisha looked uncomfortable. “Is there anything in the bathroom?”

“Probably, but I don’t conduct secret business in the shower. Let them watch me take a piss. I don’t care.” I jammed the box’s lid into place, sat down on my chair, and used the box as a footrest.

“So your guests are recorded too.”

Now I understood the problem. “Maybe you shouldn’t have broken in and helped yourself to my bathroom.”

“You were late getting back from work. I needed the toilet.” Aisha’s body language was practically shouting, I’m really embarrassed!

At least she wasn’t communicating I’m going to shoot your fucking brains out with her body language.

There was nothing threatening about her now, even though she was still wearing her guns. I hadn’t tried to take them away.

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